tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699230795490231936.post1607541422565844588..comments2023-10-29T21:04:29.911+08:00Comments on Frodology: The Guide to Frodo-Sanctioned SexualityFrodoSaveshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15487713167316638307noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699230795490231936.post-60025403749892671682009-03-05T10:18:00.000+08:002009-03-05T10:18:00.000+08:00No, he will not; fake gods can't protect you, and ...<B>No, he will not; fake gods can't protect you, and Frodo can't be bothered to pay attention to someone wearing an overpriced piece of jewelry, especially when the money's not going to him. In doing any of the above, you have breached the lady's Gates of Mordor. Yes, even the kissing. Women are fragile, and the gate is metaphorical. Luckily, as a man you can simply make sure to send your progeny on a Nission (1 Nission per transgression, please; no substitutes) and all will be forgiven. Oh wait, you're the woman? So very sorry, because all children belong entirely to the father, you're damned to eternal hell. You're both women? See previous and square it (isn't math fun!). You're both men? Not possible; in the eyes of Frodo one of you is now a woman (you'll find out which when you die!). And ladies, I was lying about being sorry. Harlots.</B><BR/><BR/>ROTFLMAO<BR/><BR/><B>But dwarves are most certainly not allowed to have sex. Gimli wasn't that helpful.</B><BR/><BR/>So Dwarves really do just spring out of holes in the ground? Isn't that a little convenient?Rachel E. Baileyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02680726406269892054noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699230795490231936.post-37726934306525412942009-02-28T00:45:00.000+08:002009-02-28T00:45:00.000+08:00Codeword: I admit that any confusion in identifyin...Codeword: I admit that any confusion in identifying the gender of potential mates would complicate things.<BR/><BR/>Frodo just says they aren't allowed to have sex. They most likely still do it, the sinful little bastards.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699230795490231936.post-29888482267225814672009-02-27T04:13:00.000+08:002009-02-27T04:13:00.000+08:00I'm sure I read somewhere in the sacred texts that...I'm sure I read somewhere in the sacred texts that it's nigh on impossible to differentiate between dwarf males and females anyway (unless you are a dwarf).<BR/><BR/>If you check out one of the extended LOTR DVDs (I forget which one) Gimli sings a song which includes the lyrics<BR/><BR/>...Dwarves go swimming/With little hairy women...<BR/><BR/>I wonder why that was left out of the cinema release.<BR/><BR/>Dwarf sexuality isn't as simple as you seem to be making out here Filliam.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699230795490231936.post-65557129009170166692009-02-27T01:05:00.000+08:002009-02-27T01:05:00.000+08:00I believe I touched on them when I mentioned ugly ...I believe I touched on them when I mentioned ugly people, but lest there be any doubt: yes, they are also screwed, spiritually. Of course, this is different if you're a dwarf. Dwarves aren't fat, they are delightfully rotund, and in deference to Gimli, Frodo's all about that.<BR/><BR/>But dwarves are most certainly not allowed to have sex. Gimli wasn't <I>that</I> helpful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699230795490231936.post-18450367738046062392009-02-26T09:56:00.000+08:002009-02-26T09:56:00.000+08:00a beautiful piece of scripture, filliam. in agreem...a beautiful piece of scripture, filliam. in agreement that women are filth - what about the wretched plight of fat people?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com