Frodology the victim of religious satire?

All aboard the gravy train!

You can generally tell when your religion has made it by the number of satirists you spawn. Christianity has always greeted satirists with open arms, taking them as evidence of its superior foothold in the hearts of the masses. Christians are frequently as quick to laugh at their own expense as those making fun of them. They rarely ever take offense, and secure in their faith and their get out jail free cards come the Apocalypse, why should they? Even with thinly veiled parodies such as the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Fred Phelps’ Westboro Baptist Church, Christians never give the satirists cause to host a running list of hate mail, updated daily.

Some Christians are self-professed satire experts, though their authority is somewhat compromised by their apparent misunderstanding of the meaning of ‘satire’ and, possibly more important, taking Ben Stein seriously. Also, it's really not funny. Some satirize themselves, and some satirize the serious crazies whilst themselves being serious crazies.

The atheist brain-god Thinky has clearly been making headway recently, as sites in favor and against spring up almost daily. Confusingly dressed like each other, satirical supporters trick their earnest opponents into believing they oppose him too, while outraging other supporters unable to see through the trickery. It’s little wonder that scientists believe 50-60% of cases of high blood pressure in atheists are caused by them working themselves up. Parodies of Thinky range from the thinly veiled to the not veiled at all, the latter being a weak impersonation of Frodology fan Roy Cozy.


Get Cozy: at your local Blockbuster

It was with some degree of pride that Frodology became the victim of the parody religion Phrodology, allegedly based on the worship of a false Messiah, Phrodo. I think he might be Greek.

Officially of course we are outraged that someone might have the gall to satirize a character whose existence is largely determined by our faith in Him. If He suckles at the teat of our faith for His sustenance, then critics of our faith threaten His very existence! Would you knowingly harm someone who only wanted the best for you?

Secretly, however, we know that the Phrodologist satirists are just venting their own frustrations. As Frodologists well know, anyone professing disbelief in Frodo is, sadly, just the victim of Sauron’s manipulation. Regardless of the fact that they have not chosen to be tools of Sauron, Frodo shall hold them personally responsible for their lack of responsibility.

After all, someone has to take the fall for man’s crimesins. Why should Frodo take responsibility for needlessly creating the universe, man, sin, man’s inability to do aught but sin, His own sacrifice to cleanse man of his sin, and the extensive bureaucracy required to determine whether each newly dead man is sinless enough to enter Heaven, despite the fact that Frodo’s earlier sacrifice should have exculpated man and saved Himself from the paperwork?

This is of course not the first time Frodology has been satirized in its long history. Historians believe that, not two thousand years ago, the little known son of a Jewish carpenter from Jerusalem first found use for his idle hands in parodying the Messiah. Unfortunately as his fans’ adulation turned to worship, he began to take himself too seriously, and a real religion was born when his ego finally slew his better judgment, an event popularly parodied by Monty Python’s The Life of Brian.

More recently, Frodologists have had their ribs poked by the Mormon Church, a religion so uproariously silly in its beliefs that some 13.7 million people subscribe to its RSS feed. The liberal reference to gold artifacts in their church’s lore and fancy serif font in their official logo are of course so clichéd in their attempt to convey legitimacy that their status as a parody religion is all but guaranteed. Interestingly, the Latter Day Saints movement is the first example in history of a satirical religion claiming more members than the religion it satirizes.

So do not fear that Frodo has become a target; instead, rejoice that His Word is reaching the foothills of the mountains of heresy. Soon shall they come tumbling down. Let us finish on an appropriate psalm, from the Age of Frodo:

And Frodo sayeth

"Lo! I am rubber

And you are but glue.

Whatever thou sayest

bounceth of me

and doth adhere to you."

And then there's this.