Saturday, November 29, 2008

Crime and sin soon to be same thing

Mainstream religion was vindicated in the United States today when an increasingly desecularized government announced that crime and sin would soon become one and the same thing. In a public initiative known as ‘crimesin’, all crimes will be viewed as morally heinous in the eyes of God, and all sins as offenses against the State.

Answering criticism that crimesin will simply overload the justice system and overcrowd prisons, the Attorney General argued that precisely the opposite will happen. In the plan he outlined, misdemeanors will be dealt with by saying a few Hail Marys, while only the most important crimesins, such as blasphemy, will require the involvement of the courts.

Another element to the crimesin regime is the streamlining of penance and sentences in pentances. Pentances can be issued by priests following a confession, in which case there is no need to seek the courts’ involvement. It is thought that this will be the source of justice favored by murderers, and legal draftsmen expect it to kick start a homicide self-policing system, whereby killers will seek out priests for justice and save precious police resources.

Some of the less religiously inclined members of the public have spoken out against crimesin, arguing that it violates the separation of church and state. The Attorney General agreed, saying “that’s exactly what we were going for, since under the new regime, secularism itself will become a crimesin”.

Due to the principle of religious equality established by the First Amendment to the US Constitution, equal weight will be afforded to activities viewed as sinful by each genuine religion. Questioning the historicity of Frodo and portraying Him in a disrespectful manner will thus both be crimesins.

Religious satire looks set to become a crimesin as well, which poses grave questions about the continuing existence of Mormonism and Scientology. Leaders of both religions are facing an uphill struggle to convince government officials of the genuineness of their faiths, as authorities are understandably skeptical of any mention of aliens or secret mystical tablets.

By far the biggest winner from the establishment of crimesins will be Christianity, whose hold on the public’s imagination has been steadily eroding since the public realized it could think for itself. Coupled with growing awareness of the risk of thinking too much, however, Christianity looks set to benefit from the harsh pentances that will be doled out to heretics and unbelievers.

One potential hurdle has however given some commentators pause for thought, and that is how Christianity will tackle the doctrine of Original Crimesin. Since Christians are born guilty, it will be interesting to see whether this particular crimesin commands a custodial pentance, or just community service.

12 comments:

Dani' El said...

http://www.mrboffo.com/comicsweb/mrboffoweb/strips/20080408bfo_s_web.jpg

When the frodo rules the New World Order...
Dan 7:25 ... he shall speak great words against the most High, and shall wear out the saints of the most High, and think to change times and laws: and they shall be given into his hand until a time and times and the dividing of time.

You are wrong if you think that Christian fundamentalists will be taking over.
Christians will be jailed, persecuted and beheaded by the millions in the coming years, by secular fascists under the Antichrist.

All will need to chose sides. No spiritual switzerland, Frodoslave.

Dani' El said...

http://www.mrboffo.com/comicsweb/mrboffoweb/strips/20080408bfo_s_web.jpg

Hmm. My link got cut off by an evil spirit. try again.

Dani' El said...

http://www.mrboffo.com/
comicsweb/mrboffoweb/
strips/20080408bfo_s
_web.jpg

Let us try this.

Dani' El said...

Thank you for the deliverance Lord from the evil spirit that doth cut off a link from the knees downward to the earth.

FrodoSaves said...

You are wrong if you think that Christian fundamentalists will be taking over.
Christians will be jailed, persecuted and beheaded by the millions in the coming years, by secular fascists under the Antichrist.


Oh well, then I have nothing to worry about, do I? Perhaps you can explain something to me. Why is it, if Christians are convinced of the inevitable fulfillment of prophecy, that they get all antsy about perceived threats to the absolutism of their faith? Shouldn't gay marriage be a non-issue if all the sodomites are going to burn for their sins anyway? Why bother if Christ is just going to come back to Earth and judge us? I feel like rather than working so ceaselessly, you could afford to kick back in smug satisfaction of what you know to be true.

Thanks for the link and the delightful poem about amputation.

Dani' El said...

Amputation?
You mean self mutilation like we see today in the piercings, cuttings and tattoos?
(I assume you are talking about 1 kings and the prophets of baal)

Oh well, then I have nothing to worry about, do I?

Well yeah ya do. You could die in 5 4 3 2.....pop goes the heart valve. Then the judgment.

Do you really want to go back to the future and get into predestination etc?
We denounce sin, including sodomite marriage, abortion (child sacrifice) etc as it will bring judgment on the nation.
Then everybody suffers.
We're up for whatever testing or proving God serves up to us, but are you?

I don't get bothered about threats to the "absolutism to the faith". I just hate people being deceived into destruction.
Joh 8:32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

Are you interested in the Truth?
I am.

And if I hated anyone, esp the sodomites or the wicked of SF who have viciously beaten, kicked, spat on, threatened and arrested me, then I would shut my mouth and say in my heart, "let em burn!"
But the Spirit of God is within me so I bless those who persecute me, and give warning to the very ones who attack me.
There will be no pleasure in their destruction.

I just pray that you live outside of Cali, Frodoslave.

Vitamin R said...

Due to the principle of religious equality established by the First Amendment to the US Constitution, equal weight will be afforded to activities viewed as sinful by each genuine religion. Questioning the historicity of Frodo and portraying Him in a disrespectful manner will thus both be crimesins.

Dude. Then I've read and produced a lot of crimesin, in my day. How many Hail Galadriels does the crimesin of fanfiction require?

Religious satire looks set to become a crimesin as well, which poses grave questions about the continuing existence of Mormonism and Scientology. Leaders of both religions are facing an uphill struggle to convince government officials of the genuineness of their faiths, as authorities are understandably skeptical of any mention of aliens or secret mystical tablets.

But according to Grand Poobah Cruise, one can be a Catholic, or a Buddhist, or what have you, and still be a Scientologist. Like being a member of the Elks Lodge. They could, conceivably seek refuge as a Philosophy, or a not-so-secret society, like the Rosicrucians, or the Illuminati. Or the No Homers club.

Since Christians are born guilty, it will be interesting to see whether this particular crimesin commands a custodial pentance, or just community service.

Community service or tithing. Lots and lots of tithing. At least fifty percent of each paycheck. Net.

FrodoSaves said...

Dani California,

Are you a fan of the Chili Peppers? I do live outside CA, but it has nothing to do with apprehensions about its impending judgment.

Thank you for your opinions. I have another question though. You say sin will bring judgment on the nation. Are you referring to people of Semitic origin? The United States? California? If either of the latter, what makes you so sure that God will respect political boundaries? At the time the Bible was written, the modern nation state was yet come into existence. The term "nation" referred to a people of the same ethno-linguistic traditions/origins. What makes you think God will recognize our modern gerrymandering?

Dani' El said...

Frodoslave,
I used to be a big peppers fan when they were a good band. Back in the Hillel Slovak days.
I used to see them play in small clubs in so CA before they hit it big.
I used to work as a photog for an entertainment rag in Orange County and could get into just about any show backstage.
Saw an early show at the Coach House in San Juan Cap that turned into a riot and the peppers where banned for a time.
I thought the band went sour after Slovak died and Irons quit.
But I put all that stuff away in 05. I assume your Dani Cali reference is from the peppers after my day. right?
What was that tune, Californication?

And your wrong about nations.
Though most were called kingdoms then, some were mixed peoples.
And all the empires from Egypt, Assyria, Babylon, Medo-Persia, Greece, Rome, Britain, to the Pax Americana were described in the book of Daniel.

The whole world will soon be divided into 10 political/economic zones. The 10 toes of Daniels image. Dan 2:41

Something like this-
1. EU (established)
2. North American Union (nafta, SPP)
3. Central American Union
4. South American (forming)
5. African Union (forming)
6. Arab League, Islam
7. Kings of the east, China, Korea
8. South Pacific, Australia, Japan
9. Russian Union
10. South Asia

And Daniel describes the "melting pot" of the west and how they don't mix well.

Dan 2:43 As you saw iron mixed with ceramic clay, they will mingle with the seed of men; but they will not adhere to one another, just as iron does not mix with clay.

Iron is figurative of Roman or western nations, and clay is Islam. Just like we see in Europe and America today.
Soon these two will clash and the whole thing will come crashing down.

NYC is Babylon the Great.
The UN, World bank, etc are all there. Every tribe nation and tongue of the world can be found in NYC. It is what God scattered in Babel, regathered in the last days.

But God will be judging the whole world, and by the time it's over, only Israel will be standing.

Jer 30:11 For I am with you,' says the LORD, 'to save you; Though I make a full end of all nations where I have scattered you, Yet I will not make a complete end of you. But I will correct you in justice, And will not let you go altogether unpunished.'

And besides.
God declared the end from the beginning. And prophecy looks down the halls of time so it doesn't matter when it was written does it?

As one can see from New Orleans and the Indonesian tsunami, Cali is not the only place to face judgment.
So no matter where you live you should consider it.

By the way.
Your stuff is actually pretty funny without being over the top offensive or blasphemous.

If only you used your powers for goodness instead of badness.
-Maxwell Smart

FrodoSaves said...

Your knowledge of the Chili Peppers surpasses mine. I only listened to their stuff after they'd already made it big. No, "Dani Califnornia" was a track on a fairly recent album. Mediocre song, but good guitar solo and amusing video.

As regards your nations comments, I have two things to say:

1) Your quotes from Daniel are so loose even an astrologer would call you vague
2) You misunderstood what I meant about nation states

Daniel
Your iron and clay example has been true for millennia. From the Trojan War (if it happened), through to Xerxes' invasion of Greece, to the Macedonian conquest of the Near and Middle East, up to the pre-Christian Romans, West and East have not got along. There are also countless examples of the West not getting on with itself, and the same goes for the East. Pointing out that peoples will not get along is hardly an insightful prediction.

Also, for all the reasons and more that Samuel Huntington's Clash of Civilizations prediction was wrong, your ten toes of Daniel looks like clutching at straws to me. With very few exceptions, each of those 'zones' looks set to continue their internecine intraregional conflicts and there are compelling reasons why they will.

nation states
Before the 17th Century, nations and kingdoms were porous political entities with little or no concept of borders, and only vague spheres of dominion they could call their own. Again, there are exceptions, but largely this was how the world was. By the middle of the 17th Century, Europe had a adopted a legal/political model called the 'state' with fixed borders and legal personality. It exported it to the rest of the world, which is why we have the world maps we do now, carved up as they are. At first states were mostly ethnically and linguistically homogeneous: the Spaniards, Italians, French, Germans, etc. They were thus called 'nation states', as 'nation' has connotations of cultural/linguistic/ethnic identity. Since many states tend to be more diverse these days, they tend not to be called 'nation states', but simply 'states'. Again, there are exceptions. Japan comes to mind.

My question is this. You said that the sinful ways of California would bring God's wrath down upon the nation. Since the US is so diverse, it is often considered meaningless to talk of it as a 'nation' in international political jargon. Thus I suspect when you referred to the US, you actually meant 'state', not 'nation'. But since the state is a post-Biblical construct, how is it that you can expect God to recognize its existence, and not simply discriminate on the lines of nations?

Anyway, I'm glad you find some of my stuff amusing. They always say the pen is mightier than the sword, and crass, outrightly offensive gestures are just swords in pens' clothing.

Dani' El said...

If you study Daniel's interpretation of the statue in Dan 2, you'll see that he was describing the empires that would follow Babylon, which was the golden head of the statue.
The shoulders were silver describing Persia.
The bronze Greece.
And Iron Rome.
The two iron legs represent the east west split of the Roman empire, and finally the 10 toes are the last days division of the whole world.

So as it applies to the last days, the mix of west and Islam is fulfilled in the iron and clay feet described in the verse.

The word translated as nations is Goy, or Goyem which can mean gentile people in general.
Not specifically a nation state.

gôy gôy
go'ee, go'-ee
Apparently from the same root as H1465 (in the sense of massing); a foreign nation; hence a Gentile; also (figuratively) a troop of animals, or a flight of locusts: - Gentile, heathen, nation, people.

I identify the Pax Americana as Babylon the Great, with NYC it's capitol city, and just as God judged the empires before her, He will also judge America, the final Roman style rule before the 10 toes.

So maybe I should say empire instead of nation.
And most of the judgments described in eschatology use tribal or "racial" distinctions like the Edomites, the sons of Ishmael etc.
So this supports your argument that the peoples more than the specific nations will be judged.
But still, in God's foreknowledge of the time, referring to nations in prophecy is not fallacious as God is not bound by time, and prophecy looks down the corridor of time.

And using the language of the time, so "the sword" means a weapon, even a rifle, or war in general.
Or a chariot, an automobile, tank. etc.

A bit of study of the original Hebrew, Aramaic and Greek can reveal a lot.
Oh yeah, the Holy Spirit and some God given discernment goes a long way too.

I know. "IT BURNS!!!" Hssss

piggymceatsalot said...

"No, it's a baby cage! It's a good one, too. See, when I was a kid mine didn't have these windows. It's perfect, if you want to go out to dinner it's already got a water bottle so you just throw some cedar chips in there so the baby can poop, you're made in the shade"