Friday, January 9, 2009

Amusing headline diverts readers from total lack of content

Readers of a blog were titillated today by a witty headline, despite their qualms that the article they were about to read would be an exercise in self-indulgent stalling. While the blog in question had been notable for its occasional witticisms, there was speculation that the author of the blog was embarrassed about the slackening quality of his articles. Use of the passive voice was noted by readers as the most obvious indication of deteriorating quality.

Experts thought that while loyal visitors might be entertained by the obscure humor, newcomers would be deterred by the impenetrable masturbatory joke telling and casual sex references.

While readers speculate that the author is running out of fresh material, worries that he would resort to cheap shots like calling Jesus a turd proved unfounded, and some conservative readers were relieved at the refreshing lack of blasphemy. Others have however voiced their concerns about being seen to follow such a contentless blog publicly, noting that a blogger always has his reputation to think about.

Internet pundits believe that the errant, overtly purposeless blog post will have grave repercussions in the battle between good and evil, which is heating up due to the increasing numbers of atheist bloggers who don't believe in evil.

Others are justifiably worried about the proliferation of meta-jokes and the possible 15-second delay involved in Wikipedia-ing what that means. While readers were previously happy to laugh at jokes about God, some don’t know how to react to jokes about jokes. As one humorless Christian blogger, Roy Cozy, has noted, “two jokes don’t make a right… I mean ‘funny’.” Still, Mr. Cozy is glad to see the continuing use of fictional personalities as placing things in quotes tends to make them “much funnier.”

Still others are skeptical as to how many different opinions there can genuinely be on a subject, and wonder whether asserting one person’s absurd opinion after another is merely a tool to pad out the article. Optimists take note however, that in the current anti-intellectual milieu, the blog in question is a rare refuge for grammar sticklers and opponents of flagrant mispellings [sick].

Disclaimer: written whilst drunk
Reclaimer: published while sober


Dani' El said...

So Ray Cozy makes his first appearance.
I can see you went to the Larson school of cartooning.

If you want to call the Lord a turd, then I can say you ate a sack of turds for breakfast this morning, barfed it up and ate it again for lunch.
No offense intended, it's just that you eat turds and like it.
Oh and by the way, you got a bit of turd stuck on your tooth. Thought you'd like to know from a friend. ;-)
You are what you eat after all, or rather you are what you don't pass into the toilet and eat for dinner.

Dani' El

FrodoSaves said...

Larson, eh? High praise. Thank you.

Didn't you read? The article said that cheap shots like calling him a turd proved unfounded.

Tee hee.

Dani' El said...

Didn't you read? I said no offense intended.
That was just a warning shot over your bow, turd eater.

Isa 36:12 But Rabshakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own turds, and drink their own piss with you?

Tee hee! ~;-)

I noticed from the beginning, your eye/nose line, and esp your baby in jail for original crimesin was straight from the far side.
But you still dine on turds.

CodewordConduit said...

One reader decided to leave a comment but wasn't sure whether readers would detect that she didn't have much to say. She considered penning something incisively witty, controversially political, unnecessarily provocative and astoundingly deep.

However, she settled for a relatively banal set of scratchings and went upstairs for an abysmally unsatisfying play.

Dani' El said...

Frodoslave has turds for tea.

FrodoSaves said...

I used to read a lot of Far Side way back in the day, but I'm talking more than 10 years ago. Any similarity is purely accidental, but after revisiting a few following what you said yesterday, yes I can see what you mean.

In the meantime I'm thrilled we can all get such lasting appreciation from the word turd, however shitty the jokes.

Eh? Eh?

CodewordConduit said...


Want to come round mine for tea?

Dani' El said...

Mal 2:3 Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread turds upon your faces, even the turds of your solemn teas; and one shall take you away with it.

I made myself laugh with that one. Lol! :)

CodewordConduit said...

God is everywhere so he's in all the turds!

Dani, I'd ask you to tea, but I'm worried what you might drop in the pot when I'm not looking.

Dani' El said...

What's wrong with dropping turds in the pot?

CodewordConduit said...

I meant the pot with food in it silly. Like a casserole dish.

Not a toilet.

Dani, you're obsessed with fecal matter.

Dani' El said...

I meant the teapot.

lol! ;-)

FrodoSaves said...


I would love to come round to yours. What are you cooking? Incidentally, since you reside in fair Merseyside, do you happen to be a Beatles fan?

Now what's all this nonsense about smoking pot with turds?

Dani' El said...

Be careful to tailor the hem of your trousers, or Sarah will put turds in your teacup.

Dani' El said...

Smoke turds, smoke turds, everybody smoke turds.
I am the eggsesman.

Dani' El said...

Poo Poo Catchoo!

CodewordConduit said...

If I have a signature dish it's probably panfried sea bass with coriander-lime butter and sauteed new potatoes.

(As a stay-at-home mum I end up having to find house-based diversion... hellllllo pretentious finickity cooking!)

But that's just showing off really, so I'd probably go the chippy.

As for The Beatles, I loves 'em, yes I do.

Vitamin R said...

"Tee hee", indeed.

Though you do have a pleasant, Larson-esque style. Now, if only you could somehow work in a panel of cows ringing doorbells. . . .

My, and since everyone's turd-slinging, I prefer to say that cheap shots like saying the Lord burgles turds have proven so far unfounded.

So far.

Did someone say pot?

FrodoSaves said...

Seabass?! How did you know? Oh dear, I think it's love.

I have no current plans for cows and doorbells, but let's not rule anything out. Plus, figuring out how to make it relevant will be an interesting challenge.


So far


CodewordConduit said...

I said "stay-at-home-mum"... I'm not a stay-at-home-mum, I go to college. Drunken freudian slip it would seem - I do feel as though I hardly leave the house.

But I like the house it has my books and DVDs. And music.

As for the sea bass..? Bizarre coincidence. Or Frodo-ordained portent. Who knows.