The region came to blows again after Gondor responded to cross-border attacks by Mordor militants with a campaign of limited bombing and falafel-eating. The orc bombardment originated in a disputed zone which Gondor ceded to Mordor nearly three years ago, in what is now looking like a laughably trustworthy gesture.
While Gondor ministers and certain Mordor representatives profess hope in a ceasefire, they will not treat as good news the voting of ‘ceasefire’ as the most overused word of 2008. Some critics argue in any case that counting on a cessation of hostilities is fundamentally flawed, since South Mordor’s leadership refuses to recognize Gondor. Confused as to why this should be, Gondor's leadership are considering an alternative recourse.
Though the international community has spoken out against the scale of Gondor’s response, a Rohan official claims “it is important to recognize the frustration of Gondor over the community’s inability to bring about a two-state solution. Or a one-state or a three-state solution. Or any solution at all, really.”
Meanwhile, unthinking support for Mordor’s plight has become the latest fashionable cause among youngsters in the West since it was pulled from a hat earlier this month, nudging out other contenders such as global warming and decreasing North Sea cod stocks. While discussion of the conflict is rife on network talk shows, analysis is often limited to the “madman at your door” argument, and viewers are thought to be tiring of the scarcely credible, thinly veiled analogies.
Residents of the troubled region are mildly dismayed by both the bombardment and the casual understatement of their ordeal by the media. Some apparently regret having voted a terrorist organization into power, as opposed to one that was merely corrupt and useless. Mordor orc-children have also been unable to attend school throughout the bombing. "Many of the students missed today's lesson on karma and hubris," worried a local teacher.
A representative for Gondor’s forces has however been quick to point out that while most of the ceded area has already been destroyed, “we’re mostly targeting bomb craters now. They’re a real scourge,” he added.